Notes from Crew Quarters: In the Ring

Many congratulations to Dan Mancilla! His "The Deathmask of El Gaucho" was selected as the winner of the Little Presque Books Novella contest and will appear in the next issue of Passages North. We're delighted. In honor of the contest, we asked our editors to share their own wrestling ring names.

Ashely Adams, Associate Nonfiction Editor

Mother Goose: I like to make loud noises, stand in groups of like minded people, and have entertained the notion of crapping on people's lawns on occasion.

John LaPine, Associate Nonfiction Editor

The French-Canadian Stallion, because for obvious reasons.

Jason Teal, Associate Poetry Editor

My ring name is Manos, after the low budget 1966 American horror film written, directed, produced by, and starring Harold P. Warren. My gimmick is that I am a Pagan cultist, and am responsible for corrupting wrestling executives during a season-long barrage of fixed matches, wherein I am unavoidably named the peoples' champ, because I use the Money in the Bank briefcase to unseat Donald Trump in one humdinger of a contest involving several folding chairs. Live, from Cleveland. My theme song is "The Clincher," by Chevelle. I have thought about this to an irresponsible degree.

Amy Hansen, Associate Poetry Editor, Poetry Sycamore, Illinois

The taskmistress. 

Jacque Boucher, Spoken Word Poetry

I want to be part of a mysterious trio called Bernadette and The Legs. We used to be a doo-wop group before a mysterious tragedy led us to embark on a quest for revenge against our arch nemesis, The (Hard) Rock. Signature moves include the Arpeggio Piledriver and the Syncopated Slam. Now accepting applications for Bernadette and the Right Leg.

Matt Ftacek, Associate Poetry Editor

Matt Fantastic: upon entering the ring, my fans like to point at me and enthusiastically shout, "Matt Fantastic!"

Matt Weinkam, Managing Editor

The Negotiator. I...I just try and talk my way out of wrestling.

Ethan Brightbill, Associate Fiction Editor

Dr. Thunder: "And Diet Thunder blocks the hit, he's going in, he's going in, and LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, DIET THUNDER JUST UNLEASHED A CALORIE BURN!"